Why I hate Las Vegas…

I hate Vegas. I don?t want to hate Vegas. But I do. I hate it.

I could end this blog post there, but that seems a little unfair. I feel compelled to express precisely why I have a hard time with Vegas, and what I think should be done about it.

I should mention here that all this Vegas talk comes from the fact that I was considering heading down there this week for a peak at CES, and perhaps lunch with Tom and Veronica. Clearer heads have prevailed. CES makes Vegas crazy.

On paper, I should love the place: I love the spectacle of it all. I don?t need to be reminded that there is a damn pyramid, a replica of New York City, and an Eiffel Tower in the middle of that desert.

Which reminds me, I love the desert. I live in Utah, which is largely a desert state, despite the tons of snow we get every year. I love southern Utah, where the rock gets red, and the horizon makes you feel like hopping into your land speeder and shopping at Mos?Eisley for the afternoon.

I also only live about 4 or 5 hours away from Las Vegas, so driving there is really not all that hard or time consuming. We often stay in a town called St. George, about an hour north of Vegas, and I LOVE that place. It?s a strange combination of college town and retirement area, with incredible bike trails, hiking, canyons, etc. Lots of hippies and art and music and cool stuff there. A wonderful place that I would not mind living in permanently, truth be told.

Anyway, as you can see there are lots of things to love about the ?idea? of Las Vegas, Nevada. I?m also a big fan of any movie using Vegas as its setting. It makes for the perfect backdrop to just about any genre I can think of: Comedy, mob movies, post-apocalyptic disaster flicks, etc.

I?ll waste no more of your time, and just tell you where my problems lie. Let?s break down why Vegas exists. I mean REALLY exists. I?m going to treat Vegas like a big cake in this blog post: Pushing all that frosting to the side, and see what this thing is really made of.

Vegas is for Gambling:
I don?t gamble. Not for any religious or any other sort of moral reasons. I don?t gamble because it is a quantifiable waste of my money. Any dummy with half a brain knows that the odds are stacked for the house, and you WILL lose…now or later, you always end up losing. Even if you figure out some hollywood-inspired method of counting cards, or hedging the bets, they always figure out what?s up and ?ask you nicely? to leave and never come back. (I?ve seen Rain Man. I know how they roll.) I?d rather spend my quarters on video games.

Vegas is for Sex:
I realize that some of the modern day frosting on the Vegas cake might lead some to think otherwise, but if we are really being honest with ourselves, Vegas is for sex.

For a happily married dude, who desires no extracurricular activity outside of his awesome married life, Vegas holds nothing for me in this regard. I suppose if you?re 22 and are looking for a shiny new STD, then Vegas is just the place yer looking for. But for me, this is a total dead end. It should be stated here that it?s additionally difficult to make my way through vegas with a 9 year old, given that the entire city is plastered with little porny flyers every two inches or so. And that?s just so I can make my way to the M&M store. Classy.

Vegas is for Drinking & Smoking:
I don?t drink. Or smoke. Simple as that. I?m pretty sure that I would need to start drinking to forget about the thick mist of crap they call air in that city, which quickly fills my lungs the minute I set foot on the strip. EVERYONE smokes, and smokes a lot. So much that the smoke no longer smells like smoke, but more like poop smeared hobo pillows. Foul.

If I spend 10 minutes on the strip, it?s inevitable that I am compelled to go to Fry?s Electronics for the rest of the day, where they don?t let you smoke, get In-&-Out burgers, and go back the hotel.

Let me be clear. I could care less if you wanna smoke and drink, and Vegas is an awesome place for people who want to do more of it. It just isn?t for me.

It probably doesn?t help that two of the worst stomach flu experiences of my life happened while in Vegas, the most recent of which was in 2008. Fresh wounds that won?t heal.

It also doesn?t help that the city looks like a big dead elephant in the daylight. There is nothing attractive about Vegas when you can actually see it. It?s kind of like making out with Ernest Borgnine in the dark. If you can?t see him, it?s not all that different than a swimsuit model, give or take.

I know there are really nice places in North Las Vegas, and surrounding areas, and I have friends that live there that never go near the strip. Your?s is a different Las Vegas. A parallel universe of sorts.

The Vegas tourism tagline says, ?What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.? True. That?s if they are referring to the watch I left in my hotel room a couple years ago. I try and picture Nick Papageorgio walking around the Flamingo pool with it on his left wrist. Way to go, Russ. Way to go.

Category: Journal 30 comments »

30 Responses to “Why I hate Las Vegas…”

  1. Jason

    I might add one thing regarding the “spectacle” that is Las Vegas. Though imitation is considered the highest form of flattery, I feel that the city is littered with cheap knockoffs of world landmarks, and if I wanted to see the canals of Venice, the Eiffel Tower, The Pyramids or the Roman Forum, I’d travel to see the authentic article and not the shopping-center squeaky clean 1/3rd scale Las Vegas version.

    TL;DR: Don’t settle for less than the genuine article when it comes to historical landmarks.

  2. Darrell

    Yeah, I’m with ya. Years ago they tried to sell Vegas as a place for families & kids. We went. Once. The only thing I was truly excited about was the Star Trek Experience, but that’s gone now so there is no reason to return.

    Here’s what we did:
    Play in the lame-o Circus Circus playground thingy
    Go to the Star Trek Experience
    Go to the Coke / M&M Stores
    Ride some roller coasters
    Ate food
    Slept
    Paid a visit to a donation station (slot machine) & gave $10

    Not worth the effort or cost to go & I’d be fine never to go again.

  3. krizhek

    I definitely hear you on those points. All of the points you made (minus the virus thing) are reasons why Las Vegas has no appeal to me. That said, I did visit for a brother-in-law marriage and did enjoy some of the sites. But was turned off by the porn littering the street and just the general feel of the city. My visit during new years to NYC was much more fun!

  4. aoirselvar

    Amen

  5. Gretchen

    My boyfriend’s parents live in Vegas. Not on the strip or anywhere near it…probably not inside city limits, actually. They’re golf addicts and live in a townhouse development apparently built to cater specifically to such people. So he has visited frequently, and also hates Vegas. Not for your reasons– he smokes, drinks, and occasionally gambles. But mainly because he’s so *over* it all.

    I, however, love it. Possibly I too could be over it all, someday– especially if I should ever live there– but in the meantime I treat it like anthropological field work. I like to be a tourist of tourists, and if there’s any place to do that then Vegas is it. I like to watch people on their first trip there, marveling about how hard it is to even cross the street on the strip, and almost passing out from heat exhaustion trying to walk from the MGM to the Mirage in the summer (have stayed at the Mirage four times…love that place). I spend a maximum of $20 gambling over the course of a trip. Last trip, boyfriend made an obligatory roulette bet on our way to check out of the hotel, and made $700. Yes, I know that’s not normal. But it’s pretty darn good, considering that was his one and only bet during the trip. Casinos are the only place where you can go out and have a night’s entertainment and possibly come back with more money than you started with. So they have that going for them, which is nice. I will never understand going to a casino outside of Vegas, however…the ones in the middle of Oklahoma are depressing as hell.

    Twice we have splurged and gotten a suite at the Mirage…the ones at the top, whose windows are covered by a gold glittering Beatles banner and a view of the volcano. The ones it almost seems a shame to leave. Vegas is for sex, yes, but it need not be non-monogamous! It may simply follow a great night out seeing and meeting Penn and Teller….who also, I would note, don’t drink, smoke, or (I think) gamble.

    After watching Top Chef for a while and noting how many great chefs have restaurants in Vegas, I’m building a list of names and locations for the next visit out. When I can afford it, that is…a culinary tour is going to take some serious funding.

    So yes, Vegas isn’t for everyone. But it doesn’t have to be exclusively for the hedonists, either. Hedonism is optional. ;-)

  6. Jess @Knot By Gran'ma

    Very well stated.

    Although I saw Priscilla Presley there once… she was standing next to 2 NASCAR cars with paintings of Elvis on them. I thought I was going to an Elvis car show (what the sign outside said)… get to see all of the cool cars from his crappy movies. NASCAR apparently thought differently and called their Elvis car unveilings a “show”. But then again, I got to see Priscilla Presley.

  7. Vincent

    My reasons for hating Vegas mirror yours entirely Scott.

    I do not drink, I do not smoke, I am also happily married and I have a two year old. I spent $1 on roulette once. Yep… that’s my gambling career in a nutshell.

    My wife had to travel to Vegas for work in 2002 or so and was very happy to spend the entirety of the trip in the hotel. Her few ventures out onto the strip were met with a never-ending stream of porn flyers and prostitution hawking.

    My friends have been trying for years to get me to go out with them for a “guys week.” The last trip left my buddy $13,000 in debt that nearly cost him his business.

    It’s glitsy, it’s shiny, it sparkles… I’ll see it in movies and pictures, works for me.

    Also, I stayed in St. George on vacation a looooong time ago on a tour of the south west. Fantastic town, beautiful area, and I cannot wait to take my daughter on a road trip through that area. Bryce Canyon, in my opinion, is much more attractive than Grand Canyon (total side note there).

    ~Vincent

  8. Cory B

    While I have never been to Vegas a very good of friend has and lived there for quite a few years and the horror stories he told me where enough to convince me that while I may stop there for an evening one day, I will not be staying long. I do want to see the place once but I also want to see Area 51. I’m sure that for my health in regards to both places, I will do a pass through then head on my way :)

  9. Pete

    Vegas does not really excite me that much. I’d like to go sometime, but for the reason most people go. I not a gambler, heck i don’t even know how to play poker, and when i learn i forget. I don’t really drink that much anymore, i used to work in the concert entertainment industry so I’ve had my share. I think gambling is a waste of time and money.

    People i know want to go to Vegas, and want me to go along. These are the same people that are always complaining about the cost of things, and always complaining about money. I’m unemployed since i got my degree over a year ago and you don’t here me complaining, I’ve always been a big saver and gambling is viewed as a conflict of that. I would like to go see a show there or something, i would go to CES or a similar convention if ever given the opportunity.

    But for the normal reasons people go to Vegas I can list 50 other places I’d rather go to.

  10. Foxlore

    I used to attend summer conference courses at UNLV every other summer for a few years. Its a nice campus and fortunately we got to stay at campus housing. Like many of the comments by posters, I do not smoke, drink or gamble. My mom had urged me to play $1 for her in a slot machine, so I did and ended up winning $1.50 so I walked away with 50 cents of Vegas money for her.

    And I have to agree with Darrell that the only thing that got me really excited was the ST Experience. Other than that, the Vegas that is ?the strip? is kinda like the fair or a travelling carnival. The first time you go it?s sort of exciting, but then you realize that behind the veneer is a dirty grunge. Everything is overpriced and not all that nice.

    But outside of ?the strip? there were lots of little neat places to discover. My favorites were a comic book shop I stumbled across and a quirky little hamburger shop that had a 50s Sci-fi theme and ran old B&W sci-fi movies on little monitors throughout the restaurant (right across from the UNLV campus).

  11. Jay

    Well the food and shopping is fun, I’d rather go to NYC.

  12. benty

    It’s funny, I don’t drink/smoke, I might gamble $20 but thats it, I don’t go for the sex or any shiny STD, and the sites are old after you’ve been there once. I love Vegas because I get to go there with great friends and spend a few days with people I don’t get to see enough

  13. Paul K

    We have a place in northern England called ‘Blackpool’. I would like to say its like Vegas on steroids. I would like to say its like Vegas. However both of these are a lie. As is the self proclaimed title “Vegas of the north”.

    If you ever go to Blackpool (by the way you can’t get a shiny new STD there only very old and tired STDs) you will run all the way back to Vegas and kiss the ground it sits on.

    Perhaps

  14. Nicole

    I live in Vegas and I hate the place. I totally understand the vacation part of the place. Folks to get away to from thier everyday lives.
    But what I hate about the place is:
    1. Noone will look you in the eye when passing on the sidewalk, in a grocery store aisle, or even when you hold a door for them.
    2. Drivers; OMG, I’ve written to EVERY offical in this state and the police departments as these drivers rank as THE worst.
    3.Customer service in all respects does not exists.
    4.Food is terrible, you can’t get authentic ANYTHING -like in other cities you have good italian, or greek or even downhome-homemade cooking(examples) it doesn’t exist here.
    5. And you have no way of knowing the good places from bad – as there are no adds for establishments, and again noone talks to one another so word never spreads of good cooking.
    6.It’s all fake. I can’t wait for the day I move. I will never be sad of that day. I came out here to take care of my father (health reasons).

    Hope this helps and sheds some more light of why this places sucks!
    Thanks.

  15. Hate Las Vegas!

    I DETEST LAS VEGAS! There is nothing to do outside of the casinos. Just to get anywhere normal you have to drive for hours. MOVING HERE IS MY BIGGEST REGRET IN LIFE! I can’t wait to move back home to Los Angeles. That is the place to be! Yes, with all its traffic, sure beats this sh*t hole! There are so many homeless in this area, it is so depressing. I live in a nice neighborhood just South of the strip and I’ve almost had my house broken into. I do not feel safe here. I pray to God to help me get out of here ASAP! Living here is a WASTE OF LIFE!!!!

  16. Heather

    I hate living in Vegas too. Moved out here in June, 2009, and I am SOO ready to get the hell out of here. Since we have been here 10 months, we have experienced 1) an assualt on my husband by a drunk guy at a casino on the Strip 2) a letter complaining to the casino about their lack of security, which I still have yet to get an answer from them 3) my husband’s car broken into outside our first house 4) our Landlord’s house went into foreclosure and we had to move 5) approached 3 different times by homeless people in the Casino’s for money……………..most recently the power went out in our whole complex for 5 + hours……….CAN’T wait to get out of here. Vegas is a nice place to visit, but wouldn’t want to live here EVER again!

  17. Roger N

    This is off topic, but I’m looking for Scott Johnson from Cumberland Valley. Drop me an e mail. I came across a photo of you from about 7th grade with Leslie Jordan.

  18. Kristin

    Thank God I am not the only one who hates living in Las Vegas! I moved here 3 years ago, not by choice. My husband moved out before me to get away from the Northeast and the poor economy of Upstate New York, however I will take the snow and cold over living here any day! Every one here has made EXCELLENT points! The drivers here are awful! I swear, every time I go out I fear for my life. No one knows the rules of the road. I live in a developing community north east of the strip and we had our place broken into. I never had that problem where I am from. Also, contrary to popular belief around the country, jobs here are not that plentiful. I have been trying to get work and have been overlooked over and over again. The places that do hire tend to treat employees terrible. The weather is nice at times here, but 110+ for 2-3 months is just as bad as snow and 0 degree temps in the north. I used to love coming here as a tourist and enjoying myself for a few days, now I can’t get out of here soon enough. My problem is that my husband loves it here and I hate it. I hope people thinking of moving here read what everyone is saying. Find a nicer place to live. It SUCKS here! I Pray that one of us gets a job that requires us to leave. I really hate it here!

  19. Kelly

    Thank you to all the people who posted a collective hatred for Las Vegas. I thought I was alone in my distaste for this uncultured, materialistic and unfriendly 4th level of Hell. Unfortunately, due to the bad job market in the Midwest, I moved out here two years ago looking for work. It took about 1 month to realize that this city is not for me. Drivers acquired their licenses from crackerjack boxes, seedy men snap porn cards at me every day on my way home from work and manners are nonexistent. The Vegas Strip is like a gigantic mini golf course complete with lame reproductions of world landmarks. I’m no prude but the overexploitation of sex is a little too much to take somedays. I never thought I’d get to a point in my life where nothing seems to shock me anymore. But this is Vegas and after seeing just about everything, it just gets to a point that shock doesn’t seem to even register anymore. God help you if you are forced to move here because of economic reasons. You may find that your bank account is a little healthier than it was but you’ll find that your soul is disintegrating in the process.

  20. Debbie

    Well here I am in Vegas with my so called boyfriend….he’s here for a “rememberance” of his former girlfriend, who was so nice and special, she screwed around on him, and I’m here now, did’t want to come and having a horrible time. They actually sell women on the sidewalk to men, and you’re right, this place is for pervert men who aren’t happy with the “real” women they have at home, “use a comdom” why should your wives and girlfriends pay for your mistakes??? Gambling isn’t my thing but I’ve been informed by my boyfriend that no matter how broke we are, it’s his decision to gamble, I have no say as to whether we go home broke or not…..nice……..we’re supposed to be going to the Grand Canyon and San Francisco but I think the way things are going, we’ll end up home first…..bring it on………….get me outta Vegas……..

  21. Charell Williams

    Interesting. I typed into google “I hate las vegas” and to my amazement, there were many entries for these exact words. To me, Vegas is a net. It’s hard to get out of without something to cut with. That something that would be used to cut through the net falls into the “who you know” line I hear all the time here. My sales training comes from Xerox, and my customer training comes from Disney’s Traditions training in Orlando, FL. I can’t believe for this city to be a city leading the way in hospitality, everyone here is so rude. I mean, I think even the police officers provoke people, on the strip and off the strip. If you are a sharp knife, and you come to vegas, be prepared to become a little dull. The duller you are, the harder it is to get out the net. One more thing, there are NO quality women in vegas. The ones that think they are quality are alcoholics, and we all know how loose women can get after a few drinks. Anyway, I won’t be calling this place home for long. Like Bugs Bunny said, “it’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t wanna live there.”

  22. Live your life

    You people suck. I had the greatest 5 days of my life! I’m not a big gambler and I don’t buy hookers.

    But don’t go if you don’t smoke, drink, gamble, like women, like fun, like swimming in beautiful pools, the sun, fun people, partying. You don’t have to like all of those but if you like one, it’s a hell of a town to visit. I’m 26 and think I can handle a good time, but I could never live there.

    I typed in I hate Las Vegas thinking that there was no way any one could. There’s something for EVERYONE!

    Everyone there was there for the same reason as me, to get away from the real world for a few days, trust me, we did. There’s nothing real in that town.

  23. Patrick

    Thank you all for the great comments. I hve been offered a job in LV & have been debating moving from the Midwest. After a lot of thought, and research, I think I am going to stay put here in Ohio.

    Yes, Ohio may suck. The weather, the economy and even the sports teams. But I have the best friends & family that a person could ever ask for. The people here are friendly and I feel safe walking down the street. Although winter lasts a little too long, I love the change in seasons. I love being able to actually be outside in the summer & not die from 120+ degree days!

    Thank you all for helping me with this decision.

  24. Zion

    I have to comment. I have lived in Vegas for 20 of my 38 years on this planet, not by choice I might add. i have tried to move to greener pastures over the years, Seattle, Hawaii, Colorado, California to name just a few but, I am continually sucked back into the vortex or crap that is Vegas. Now, everything you said is true but, there’s another softer gentler side to Vegas you DO NOT see on the Strip.

    I have two amazing kids, 8 and 14, who are both straight A, perfect attendance kids who aren’t porn crazed maniacs or aspiring pole dancers. We do normal stuff like Fencing and Dance classes and picnics in the park. I’ve been happily married for 13 years and my wife isn’t a call girl or a stripper.

    What I’m trying to say is that you see what you perceive. I almost NEVER go near the Strip, except when a comp’ed meal comes my way, and my Familie’s life is for the most part pretty normal here. We go to plays in the open air amphatheater, we walk our dog, we swim and BBQ, we ride our bikes, and we live like there’s no Adult Disneyland within walking distance.

    I would LOVE to live somewhere else but the hook of easy money and low housing costs has me hooked. I mean, where else can a bartender make 100k a year and find a 2000 square foot house for under 100k?

    This city has it’s slimy side for sure, but we choose to make the best of the crap sandwich that is Vegas. Hope this has somewhat changed your view of my fair city.

  25. Ted

    Vegas does suck. It sucked the finances and life out out of a former friend who fell into debt, alcoholism, and drugs. Yes, we all know that can happen anywhere else but since the modus operandi is to live it up in Sin City, it happened too easily. Fuck you, Vegas.

  26. get over it

    Vegas is the greatest city on earth, you guys are all old curmudgeons with your panties in a bunch about all them whipper snappers having too gooda time.

  27. Ellie Hughes

    i seriously needed sales training to sharpen my skills in selling online products.~”*

  28. CL

    Have lived in Vegas 3 years – Moved here from midwest to escape snow/cold/winter. I love heat – and that is the ONLY thing I like about Vegas. It took me only 6 months to realize that I need to live somewhere that people have a conscience. Unfortunately, must wait until my daughter graduates UNLV (Thankfully Dec 2010) This city is the MOST evil place in the US – If there is anything “wrong” you can find it here. If you have any weaknesses do not move to Vegas and I mean any, eating, drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, gambling, etc…. ANY – this city will chew you up and spit you out – Don’t think you can beat this city ( It’s like believing that you can beat the house @ gambling) NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Every city has crooked polititians – This city…..It’s actually legal to be a crooked polititian :( O. Everything about this city is FAKE – Including the folks who live here. You could live here all your live & NEVER make a friend (Because everyone is so distrusting, rude, a cheat and/or just down right antisocial) You cannot trust anyone here. And, so now you’re thinking ………Go to church – there’s gotta be good people there- think again They are as phony as the $10,000 bill you get a Binions. Next on the list….. Employers – The casinos make the employment laws out here – so basically in this state the employers can litterally treat you like SHIT and there’s nothing you can do about it. Work ethic is terrible, everyone in the work place is always snapping at each other because everyone hates where they work. Next on the list… Money gauging – this STATE will drain you – you think no state taxes sounds great (it does) until you have to pay $600 for license plates on a brand new car, or $300 for a car that is a year or 2 old – 2002 vehicle plates are $200 !!! If your car insurance lapses for 1 day – the DMV is notified immediately and you have to pay $250. Oh yes and when getting your drivers lic ladies – you better be prepared…….. You will need your birth cert., previous DL, your divorce papers (no matter how many times you’ve been), your marriage license, and 8 hours to spare ( The DMV’s out here are standing room only) If you get a speeding ticket, parking ticket etc….. It’s legal to pay someone (lawyer) to stop this from being reported on your license (but it’ll cost ya). Any possible way this state thinks they can get $$ out of you – they will. And you are basically trapped unless you just move out of the state. There are NO Family values here, there is NO culture here, There are WAY TOO MANY frickin’ foriegners ( who obviously add to the chaos) who have no manners, and truly do not know the “American” way “please, thank you, sorry, forgive me” are NOT in their vocabulary. WAY TOO MANY MEXICANS, ASIANS, IRANIANS –
    Next on my list of pet peeves – Apartment living ( refused to buy a house because I’m not staying) Apt.Management is the pits (and I guess that’s a problem everywhere so it’s not really special here) You know that beautiful pool, jacuzzi you saw in the brochure ? Yeah it’s bacteria infested, filthy, jacuzzi is cold not hot. Oh and that nice workout room in the brochure consists of 1 treadmill, 1 bike and 3 weight machines- none of which work. When something breaks in the apartment – you better hope you’re married to a handy man, cause it aint getting fixed by management and if you don’t fix it – they’ll just blame you and deduct it from your security deposit when you leave. I have truly Never HATED living anywhere before and I’ve lived in 5 different states before NV – THIS PLACE IS HELL ON EARTH. I vacationed here 20 years before moving here – I will never come back after leaving (even for vacation) I would love to see the casino’s in this town go belly up (even if it was just for a day) Oh yes, and I forgot to mention healthcare in Vegas – THE WORST healthcare you could ever receive in your life ( I KNOW, I WORK IN HEALTHCARE) the doctors here are mostly doc’s who didn’t do very well in school and barely passed state boards, most of them practice medicine by addicting patients to Loratab, Oxycodone, Morphine that way people don’t know that they’re getting such terrible healthcare. Check out the news…… Haven’t you heard about the GI clinic that gave many people hepatitis/aids because they were reusing needles and colonoscopy equipment – WTF !!

  29. Eve Reid

    Sales training is really necessary to properly promote those products that needs to be sold in short amount of time.’~.

  30. Dorotheen Strass

    I hate Las Vegas as well for all the depressing reasons listed by so many here – the kitschy glitz, the consumption overplay, the lack of any depth or cultural evidence, but my main reason for hating that place is because it guzzles precious water in an area which is slowly drying totally out. I hate it because it is a huge waste of energy and resources and produces some of the worst night light pollution for its size than anywhere else on earth. I hate it for all those things and I hate the Las Vegas water authorities who want to drain the rural areas of northern Nevada of water to keep this freak desert town churning out its filth. I think someday vegas will go back to the desert from which it came, dry up and blow away. My fear is that, in its greed to say alive it will be allowed to take a lot of the rest of the western US with it.


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